by Dale Bequette

Relationships have been on my mind a lot lately, especially the really important ones between men and women, the ones that are supposed to be the most important, significant and lasting of our lives. Children and families, dreams and livelihoods, well-being and stability are all affected by these core relationships. Recently I was reminded again of how unstable, short-lived and often very painful these essential relationships have become in this day and age. Breakups, split-ups, separations and divorce have become commonplace; many adults and children are going through these traumatic events in their lives multiple times as people long for and try to recreate these essential and primary relationships.There are significant numbers of people who are skeptical that good and healthy enduring relationships between men and women are possible. I am writing this article to give hope and to encourage all those people out there that there is a way that works, it has worked for generations and it is available to anyone if they are willing to ask and are prepared to act on it. Men and women need each other. We were created to complement each other. Together we are unbeatable when we get our relationships right.

How do we get it right? What can make the difference? These days there seems to be a great divide or watershed on the thinking and ideas surrounding these fundamental relationships. I don’t want to get into a long discussion or debate, but to point out an observation and simple conclusions I have come to — that have taken me from one side of the great divide to the other. In the process I have found peace, contentment, joy, stability and fulfilment. A good portion of my life from a child was in brokenness, split-ups, separations and finally in divorce. Relationships were unstable with considerable periods of loneliness and isolation. I longed for love with a special woman, to be in a family that deeply cared about each other and for a community to be a part of. So what changed?

I now have and know numerous couples with relationships that are thriving and many lasting for their entire lives. Many of these relationships have had their difficult times and challenges, but have become more stable and better with time. Many of the individuals in these relationships come from very diverse backgrounds and conditions which would seem incompatible and yet they still thrive! Here’s the catch, most of these people are Christians, believers in Jesus. Most of these people read the Bible, they pray, they worship, they fellowship together and actively serve on a regular basis. They are ordinary people, sometimes characters with lots of flaws, who are being changed into people that are humble, full of gratitude and grace, have joy and peace and have hope for themselves, their families, their communities and the world at large. They know and have a security that is not based on the happenings and events of the world today, yet they are out there engaging in the world and making a  meaningful difference.

I care deeply for those people that are living and going through brokenness, that are hurting, lonely and isolated. I am sad and at times frustrated that these same people will not even attempt to explore or try out an alternative viewpoint or belief  system to the status quo. What will it take for them to wake up, see and acknowledge their lives and their children’s lives are in serious trouble and that they need help? I, for one, got to a point in my life where I asked God for help, I met Jesus and asked him to take control of my life. That was the watershed event in my life that over time has made all the difference in the world, especially in my core relationships and my outlook on life.

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