I feel like a teenager

Guest column

by Amanda Million

I feel like a teenager. I loved my youth; right up to the age of twelve. Things changed because my two older sisters started hanging out in a “gang”. Not today’s type of gang. It was a 70’s teenager, hang-out on the “hill” kinda gang; and they started smoking pot. Ohhh…they got in trouble so many times.

I had great times, doing fun stuff with my two older sisters and although they did some stupid things; things that brought the police to the door and such, I experienced a pot smoking culture all the same, albeit not high. You see, I decided I would not be like them and so swore off drugs, with a passion. Instead, I made sure I graduated high school, the first in the family to do so, then worked for 7 years, then went to university (again the first to do so), and from then on worked. I had made the right choices on the work-life road and have had a career with ever increasing responsibility. It has been forty-two years that I have been working and recently it has not been much fun, nor easier to get out of my warm cozy bed in the morning. So I am retiring.

I am retiring into a new age of Canadian reality. It is now legal to smoke pot. All those years of it being illegal, all those newspaper reports of cannabis seizures, always reaffirming my anti-drug policy are now dormant. So, I started smoking pot. At age fifty-six, I started smoking pot. Let me tell you, it is the best decision I’ve ever made.

At night my husband and I smoke a joint or take a few hits off the bong I bought last month at a gas station and listen to Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Eagles and others; all bands I never listened to in the ‘70’s as all the “stoners” listened to that; and I was different. Now, I turn out the lights, light candles, let my head slowly collapse into my neck and flop back to rest on the chair and let the music surround me. I hear it so differently now and it is so calming. When my husband and I are stoned we learn about each other. We discover and share more in common than we knew. Things that we never knew before, like when we are stoned we both pee really slowly. Yes, and then we laugh and laugh at the absurdity of the concept and just sit close together and watch the 2000’s rendition of Battle Star Galactica, which we are loving, by the way. Afterward in bed, I think great thoughts. Thoughts that quickly trickle away from memory, but which I know were wild and deep, until I fall asleep, comfortably and warm in my bed. The next day, I wake, get up, check Facebook, drink coffee and count the days until my last day of work. Later I make stained glass earrings, organize the dinner theatre show we are doing at McCloskey’s in Chesterville, listen to music and dance in the kitchen with my dog, until my love comes home. Everything is sweeter, cozier; more beautiful. I want to have a party every night, where friends come over with guitars and we sing, suddenly perform improved monologues, drink and smoke, dance and laugh. I think about this new part of my life as me finally being more creative, more fun, more spontaneous, more collaborative, more me. I feel like a teenager.

My youth was fun and I felt like a teenager, then. Now, I am feeling that same excitement about life; I see the future as wild and fun. There is so much to learn and so much to do. There are so many things to think about, to decide how I feel about them, to ponder who I want to be and the great importance of friendships. I feel like a teenager, again. My only worry is that, as I get older and get bored with being high, I will want to straighten up and get a job.

Anonymous ( kidding!!! – Amanda Million ☺)

Disclaimer: I am using my maiden name to protect the innocent.

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